I’ll take the parquet!

Can’t Hear You, originally uploaded by Eric Kilby.

One reason I’ve been wanting to blog is because I need an outlet (besides Jeff Tartarsauce) for my thoughts on NBA on-court fashions. And the 2008 Finals is a perfect first post.

I started out as a Spurs fan in the early 1990s (thanks, Charles). I still am one, but as players have moved around, so have my allegiances. Most Spurs fans can’t believe that I can also root for the Mavs, for example. But Avery Johnson was coaching the Mavs, and while that was happening, I had to pull for The Little General!

This year, I wanted a Pistons/Spurs final. That’s pretty much my dream series. Unfortunately every other living human wanted a Lakers-Celtics final with all the bullshit nostalgia (I wasn’t into basketball yet, so why would I care?) that goes along with it. And here it is. Luckily, the series has not sucked. And luckily, the Lakers are behind. That’s the way I like them. The only way.

So I had to decide who to pull for in this series. It was hard, but not too hard. See, I’ve always disliked the Celtics. There are several reasons:

1. I’ve never been given a reason to like them.

2. I’m not partial to green as a team color.

3. I’ve never been to Boston.

4. I’ve never been a big Larry Bird fan.

5. I fucking hate parquet!

So it came down to deciding what I hated more, parquet floors or Kobe Bryant. Framed that way (and really, I hate parquet quite passionately), it was easier to choose.

I’m really not a mean-spirited person. I don’t yearn for the ruination of others. I really don’t. Except for Kobe Bryant, George H. W. Bush, and a very few others who have offended me deeply. What did Kobe do to offend me? He smirked. He’s always smirky. And I hate him.

Ok, so I have a better argument for hating Bush (the killing, and the tax-cuts-for-the-rich, and the killing, and the smirking). But I still hate Kobe. I guess that’s part of what people like about sports. I can focus all my vicious hatred on Kobe, rather than someone who might object to my wrath or, perhaps, punish me for it. No, I can hate on KB all I want. And for no good reason, too. And in Central Texas, I have lots of company!

So tonight, I’ll be pulling for the Celtics to win their first championship in, um, a really long time. But more than that, I’ll be hoping to see them wipe that smirk off Kobe’s face and replace it with a grimace. Or a scowl. Shit, I’ll settle for a frown if I have to.

I’ll take the parquet!

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